what's happening to me huh?

okay, i'm weird.

i used to love having spikes on my hair. like i'l cut'em short on the top so it'll be spikey and i can style it. and so, i did it again. i went to cut my hair, short at the top. (:

to my surprise, i don't like it. as we're speaking, im touching my hair at every possible chance. it looks the same like how it looks after every haircut. spikey at the top and yadayada. but i don't know why i dont like it now. this is so saddening. i think im gonna clip up my hair tmr.

hmm.

there was once i cut my hair real short and my mom thought i looked like a guy. but i like the short and light feeling. and now, my hair's shoulder length. and i like it too. i think im becoming more & more feminine. HAHAHAHA. okay, shut up.

thank God hair can grow, like seriously. hah.

omg, i just realised, im getting more and more vain.. tsk tsk.

and i think it's because in secondary school, the presence of guys are like more so when you hang out with them with a few girls, apparently you'll tend to be influence and be more.. umm.. what's that word? oh yeah, more boyish. you won't really care about your appearance and whatever shit. i didnt even bother to tuck it shirt in secondary school.

but now, *coughs, as you enter srjc, okay, in general, jc, the presence of guys in the arts fac seems to be lesser. and therefore, you mix with more girls and the girls you mix with usually come from girls school. so they're either super girly or super boyish. well apparently, there isnt much boyish girls in my class, okay, actually there's none. and there, you'll become girly.

and the characteristics of being girly would be like, vain? haha stereotypes. now, i still don't tuck in my shirt, i use draw strings, cos it looks better. ):

shouldnt it be the opposite? like more guys, which means you have to act girly. so that they'll like you? and more girls, which probably meant that you have to act extra girly and flirt with the guys?

well, not in my case, i suppose.

and why am i typing all these? no sense. HAH